There in the Mirror Stood a Hypocrite 

Today I realized that I have moments when I’m the same as them
well
SOMETIMES..
ok more like VERY FEW times but shit I realized that today
I realized that, at times, I inadvertently say things to white americans to discredit my experiences as a black woman
I swear
It was like I heard myself say the words before I said them…but nothing about knowing it was wrong forced me to stop spitting them out

So here we go
I was with a colleague…someone who shall remain nameless and title-less for the sake of keeping the focus on me here ..well, my fault rather..because I mean this is my blog and its all about me ..always all about me…but ANYWAY!!
My colleague took me home and I live in a great place- love my city- but just like any other… a place where its all good in my block but you might want to stand your damn ground if you go the wrong way down the next block over

She dropped me off
& thats when it happened … my hypocrite moment of the day (not the first and certainly not the last of my lifetime but for now the most memorable)
I said it…
The whole use of the term “shady” as a characteristic of a neighborhood that is not on the income level as those I’ve lived and grown up in
Shit
Really Amber?
I HATE when privileged people or even people like me (and yes I believe I have some sort of privilege – not as white as the biggest one- but some sort nonetheless) use that term to avoid the realities of a place where the system keeps things down to stay up

I was literally just having this conversation with a friend the other day and brought up how white-washed that shit was
…but place me in front of someone the complete opposite from me and boom I discredit my people’s struggles and sense of reality by calling their neighborhood “shady”…when it’s just the exact opposite and is only really home

I think I am so used to being “right” here since this is my space…that I wanted to make sure I put it out there that I can do wrong

In high school, this chick used to quote this old movie and tell me “Girl, yo eyes ain’t big and brown for no reason”. I never got that …never knew why she told me that.

I get it now…imma do better.

xoxo
-Ams

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